31 Plays in 31 Days - Day 31 - The Goodhearts

THE GOODHEARTS

Scene - Living Space

Interior. Afternoon. A living room that has a dinning room that flows right into it. ROBERT is on the living room couch with a bowl of spaghetti watching TV. HEATHER enters ready to set the dinning room table and sees ROBERT.

HEATHER

Robert, what did I tell you about eating in the living room?

ROBERT

Heather please. I just got back from work and I just want to enjoy my spaghetti.

Audience laugh track is heard. HEATHER gives him a dirty look.

ROBERT

The spaghetti you've so carefully prepared my dear.

Audience laugh track is heard. HEATHER turns back around to prepare setting the table. Unknown to her, as soon she turns around, ROBERT has spilled the entirety of his spaghetti on the couch by accident due to a startling moment on his TV show. He goes to try to find solutions to hide the huge stain.

HEATHER

I just hate when you don't listen to me. I don't say these things to hear myself ya' know. I just say them because I'm a stay at home and I know this house front to back and I hate food stains in the living room. I have carefully set up our dining room so you can eat there. I've even positioned the TV so you can see it from where you eat in the dining room, if you ate at the dining room, and still, you eat in the living room.

The laughter has increased as ROBERT has found a white blanket to throw over the white couch and hides the stain completely. HEATHER turns around to face ROBERT.

ROBERT

I understand.

Audience laugh track is heard.

HEATHER

Did you finish all that spaghetti?

ROBERT

Yes ma'am it was good.

Audience laugh track is heard.

HEATHER

Thanks. Don't eat in here. 

HEATHER exits. BOBBY enters.

ROBERT

Son, do me a favor.

BOBBY

Yeah.

ROBERT

I'm going to take your mother out for dinner. While we're out, you have to clean this. Please.

ROBERT shows BOBBY the stain on the couch.

BOBBY

Oh mom's gonna kill you.

Audience laugh track is heard.

ROBERT

Not if my son helps me. My son who will also get a 20 dollar advance in his allowance if he helps me.

HEATHER enters.

HEATHER

What do you guys want for dinner.

BOBBY

You should go out, you go out, guys... go out.

Audience laugh track is heard.

HEATHER

What?

ROBERT

I was just telling Bobby boy here that, he notices that you work so hard all day and never get a single thank you.

HEATHER

He did?

BOBBY

I did?

ROBERT

You did. (audience laugh track is heard) So, I'm going to say thank you by taking you out for dinner.

HEATHER

Oh Robert.

BOBBY

Cool, we're going to Mickey's?

Audience laugh track is heard.

HEATHER

The fast food restaraunt?

ROBERT

We're not going to Mickey's, and you're not going, remember? Advanced notice?

BOBBY

What? Oh?

Audience laugh track is heard.

ROBERT

Oh!!! Yes!

HEATHER

What?

ROBERT

Nevermind dear, he's sick. Get your purse.

HEATHER

We're going now? Shouldn't we call a babysitter?

ROBERT

Oh the kids are teenagers, they'll be fine.

HEATHER

No parties!

ROBERT and HEATHER exit. The audience track roars with laughter. BOBBY looks at the stain and starts to roll his sleeves up. SARAH enters.

SARAH

What did you do?

BOBBY

Dad spilled spaghetti on mom's white couch.

SARAH

It looks like crime scene.

BOBBY

Yeah, don't it?

Audience laugh track is heard. SARAH flinches.

SARAH

Mom and dad aren't home then?

BOBBY

No he took her out so I can hide the evidence.

Audience laugh track is heard. SARAH flinches again and takes out a gun. She aims it at BOBBY. Lights out.

SARAH

Oh, okay.

Lights back on. BOBBY is tied up and  unconscious on the couch near the spaghetti stain on the couch. ROBERT and HEATHER enter. 

ROBERT

Bobby? Sarah?

HEATHER

Kids? Oh my GOD!!!!

HEATHER sees BOBBY tied up on the couch. SARAH enters aiming the gun at HEATHER and ROBERT.

SARAH

Sit on the couch.

ROBERT

Sarah, where did you get a gun?

SARAH

Just shut up and sit down.

HEATHER and ROBERT sit on the couch with BOBBY.

HEATHER

Honey, is something wrong?

Audience laugh track is heard. SARAH closes her eyes as the laughter fades.

SARAH

I feel trapped in this sitcom world.

Audience laugh track is heard.

SARAH

This is not funny.

HEATHER

Sarah, baby we love you. What are you doing?

SARAH

I'm a real teenage girl with real problems. No one at school likes me. I want to die. I'm bullied. I hate everyone.

Audience laugh track is heard. SARAH covers her ears.

SARAH

Shut up, just shut up. Just shut up.

ROBERT

Sarah, put the gun down.

HEATHER

Honey we love you. Please stop.

BOBBY wakes up.

BOBBY

What's going on?

SARAH is startled.

SARAH

What?

BOBBY

What's wrong Sarah?

Audience laughter is heard.

SARAH

I can't stand it here.

SARAH runs offstage with the gun. HEATHER looks on at her daughter.

HEATHER

Sarah NO!!!! Please....

A gunshot is heard.

ROBERT

Oh God.

BOBBY

Sarah? Sarah?

Lights off. Lights back on. A new couch is in the living room. ROBERT is in the dinning room on the table eating spaghetti. HEATHER enters, looks at ROBERT, and smiles.

HEATHER

Look who's eating at the dinning room table.

ROBERT

I learned my lesson honey. No eating in the living room.

HEATHER

It's a shame Sarah had to leave for awhile.

ROBERT

Yeah, but at least it means your niece can stay in her room during her stay.

HEATHER

Oh yes. She should be here any minute. Bobby, get over here. Cousin Olivia is coming.

BOBBY

Yay. Cousin Olivia.

Audience laughter is heard.

END

31 Plays in 31 Days - Day 30 - Fanning the Flames

FANNING THE FIRE

Scene - Backstage

Offstage, a ruckus of angry fans is heard. JERRY and CARUE enter, out of breath. After a moment:

JERRY

Was that really necessary?

CARUE

Yes.

JERRY

A lot of jobs are on the line you know?

CARUE

I don't care. I can't play this role anymore.

JERRY

I don't like it, but it's a fact: boybands don't sell well that have openly gay members.

CARUE

You think I give a shit?

JERRY

You better give a shit. We sell pop music.

CARUE

Maybe pop music has to change.

JERRY

You really think our music is going to change the world?

CARUE

We could change the world. 

JERRY

I love you. Because you believe the world should be a better place than it is. I'm realistic though.

JERRY exits. CARUE is left behind. He hears JERRY's announcement.

JERRY (OFFSTAGE)

I'm sorry to announce that Carue has decided to leave In Fire. But we promise you that we will keep making good music for as long as you will allow us too.

CARUE exits as the ruckus gets more loud and angry and sad.

Scene - Carue's Appartment

Interior. Morning. JONZE Is in a suit and finishing up his coffee. 

JONZE 

Carue?

CARUE enters.

CARUE

Yes Jonze?

JONZE

I'm off to work soon. Do you need a ride to your audition?

CARUE

No. I think I'll walk.

JONZE

Are you sure?

CARUE

Yeah. The walk back will help calm my nerves when they tell me I didn't get it.

JONZE

Don't be so negative. You're awesome. I knew that the moment I saw your first music video with In Fire.

CARUE

Oh, I miss those boys.

JONZE

Everyone does. 

JONZE kisses CARUE.

JONZE

It was years ago. Don't think too hard about it. I'll see you after work okay.

CARUE

Okay. 

JONZE hugs CARUE and exits out the door. CARUE stands at the edge of the door.

CARUE

Jonze. I love you.

JONZE (OFFSTAGE)

I love you too.

CARUE looks on and smiles for a moment. CARUE closes the door. CARUE starts to clean up and starts to vocally warm up. A knock is heard on the door. CARUE opens the door expecting JONZE.

CARUE

Did you forget something?

But instead....

JERRY

Hi. 

CARUE

Jerry? What are you...

JERRY

I was in town, promoting my new album.

CARUE

You shouldn't walk the streets alone. Where's your body guards?

JERRY

They're in the limo. I'll be fine here. Right?

CARUE

Yeah of course.

CARUE invites JERRY in. An awkward moment until...

CARUE

How are things...

JERRY

I'm sorry.

Pause.

CARUE

It might be a little too late for that.

JERRY

I haven't forgotten about you. Everyday since I left you, I have always thought about you. Every song I sing on my record, is for you.

CARUE

I don't care.

JERRY

I'm sorry for what happened, and I wish I could say: I wish I didn't leave you, - but I'm not. But I do miss you, and I will always love you.

Pause.

CARUE

Please go. I can't...

Pause. Hesitation.

JERRY

Okay. 

JERRY exits out the door. CARUE stands at the door, watching JERRY leave. A limo is heard leaving. CARUE watches on.

END

31 Plays in 31 Days - Day 29 - After Ever After

AFTER EVER AFTER

Scene - The Forest

SNOW WHITE wanders alone in the forest, tattered and out of breath, when a carriage passes her by. CINDERELLA is in it.

CINDERELLA

Hi sweetie, do you need a ride?

SNOW WHITE

Yes. Please.

CINDERELLA

Come on in.

SNOW WHITE enters the carriage. 

SNOW WHITE

Thank you so much.

CINDERELLA

You look like you've been through a lot. What's your story?

SNOW WHITE

You wouldn't understand.

CINDERELLA

Really? And how could you possibly know that?

SNOW WHITE

Did you have a stepmother who tried to kill you?

CINDERELLA

Kinda?

SNOW WHITE

Really?

CINDERELLA

Yeah.

SNOW WHITE

Oh wow. I'm sorry.

CINDERELLA

Oh I'm fine. I got out of there. Now I help my husband rule a whole kingdom.

SNOW WHITE

Wow.

CINDERELLA

See, we have more in common with each other than you think. Everyone has a story. Where do you want my carriage to take you?

SNOW WHITE

I really don't know. When my stepmother tried to kill me, I went to live with some dwarfs. She then found me and put a sleeping spell on me.

CINDERELLA

Oh no.

SNOW WHITE

What?

CINDERELLA

Sleeping spells are the number one cause for divorce.

SNOW WHITE 

You don't say.

CINDERELLA

I do say.

SNOW WHITE

Well that's what happened. A prince kissed me, we got married, and now we are divorced. I'm going back to live with my friends.

CINDERELLA

That's nice. Where are these friends?

SNOW WHITE

I don't know. The woods aren't exactly organized properly.

CINDERELLA

That is true. You could get lost out there. (looks out the window and sees ROSE) She looks lost.

SNOW WHITE

Who?

The carriage stops. SNOW WHITE and CINDERELLA go towards ROSE who is picking flowers.

SNOW WHITE

Hey, are you okay?

ROSE

Oh I'm fine. I'm just picking flowers for my bouquet. I'm getting married.

CINDERELLA

Oh that's nice. Who is he?

ROSE

Some guy.

CINDERELLA

That's fine and all sweetie, but where's the church.

ROSE

I don't know. It might be down that way.

SNOW WHITE (WHISPERING TO CINDERELLA)

Do you see anything down that way?

CINDERELLA (WHISPERING TO SNOW WHITE)

Just air.

SNOW WHITE (WHISPERING TO CINDERELLA)

The same stuff that's probably in her head.

CINDERELLA (TO ROSE)

Sweetie, do you need us to give you a ride to the church.

ROSE

Oh no. My prince will come.

SNOW WHITE (TO CINDERELLA)

She's clearly crazy.

ROSE

It's been real nice meeting you ladies.

ROSE gets up with her bouquet.

SNOW WHITE

Where are you going?

ROSE

Off into the forest. I have more flowers to pick.

ROSE exits into the forest.

SNOW WHITE

Should we leave her?

CINDERELLA

Of course not. She could get hurt.

SNOW WHITE

She's not listening to us though.

CINDERELLA

I know, but I'm reminded of one of my stepsisters. She was younger than me and I always felt a need to protect her no matter how dopey she was.

ROSE screams.

SNOW WHITE

Oh no.

SNOW WHITE runs into the forest towards ROSE. She finds ROSE in shock and in horror as RAPUNZEL lies on the ground, ready to give birth.

SNOW WHITE

What's wrong.

ROSE

There's something coming out of her.

CINDERELLA arrives on the scene.

SNOW WHITE 

Oh my God. Cinderella she's giving birth.

CINDERELLA

Okay, we can do this. I helped my stepmother give birth to my sisters. 

CINDERELLA goes down to help RAPUNZEL.

CINDERELLA

What's your name?

RAPUNZEL

Rapunzel.

CINDERELLA

Rapunzel we're going to help you.

ROSE

Is she dying?

SNOW WHITE

Yes. This is how my mother died.

CINDERELLA

No ladies. Childbirth is not a death sentence. You're going to be all right. Now push.

ROSE

Oh I can't watch.

RAPUNZEL screams.

Scene - Cinderella's Castle

Interior. A hallway. ANA and RONAN enter.

ANA

Mama? Mama?

RONAN

The castle is so huge. 

ANA

We're not supposed to wander alone. We'll get lost.

RONAN

We can't find anyone. 

RAPUNZEL enters.

RAPUNZEL

Children?

ANA

Mama?

RONAN

I told her not to wander.

ANA

Liar.

RAPUNZEL

Kids, kids. Please. Let's behave. I think your aunts are waiting for us in the dinning hall for lunch.

RONAN

Yay, lunch.

RAPUNZEL leads her children to the dining hall. CINDERELLA, SNOW WHITE and ROSE await her. 

CINDERELLA

Hello Rapunzel.

SNOW WHITE

Yeah finally.

ROSE

Don't listen to her Rapunzel. Snow is just mad at our rule to wait for everyone to be present at the table before we all eat.

SNOW WHITE

Why do we do that?

CINDERELLA

Because it keeps us all as a family. It always us time to eat, and spend time together. 

ANA

Can Snow White tell us a story?

RONAN

Yeah, tell us a story. She has cool stories.

ROSE

Can I tell you kids a story?

ANA

Yeah sure.

RONAN

Yeah.

RAPUNZEL

Rose, maybe you shouldn't.

SNOW WHITE

No let her. Let her.

ROSE

Once upon a time there was a princess.

ANA

Yeah.

ROSE 

And she fell asleep.

RONAN

Yeah?

ROSE

And then a prince kissed her waking her up.

ANA

Yeah?

ROSE

And that's pretty much it.

ANA

Oh.

CINDERELLA

Rose here is still writing her story. And aren't we all just starting to write our own stories. Remember, everyday, is a new beginning. 

RICHARD enters.

RICHARD

Cinderella.

CINDERELLA

Yes my husband.

RICHARD

There's a young man here to see Rapunzel.

RAPUNZEL

To see me?

RICHARD

Yes miss.

CINDERELLA

Send him in please.

RICHARD

Yes my love.

RICHARD exits and re-enters with CHRISTOPHER. He has a blindfold on... because he's blind.

CHRISTOPHER

Is Rapunzel here?

RAPUNZEL

It's my prince.

CHRISTOPHER

Rapunzel I hear you, but I can't see. You're mother blinded me.

RAPUNZEL

She wasn't my mother. She was a witch.

ROSE

Was she a good witch or a bad witch.

SNOW WHITE

Shut up Rose.

CINDERELLA 

Children, ladies, let's give Rapunzel and her friend some privacy. 

SNOW WHITE, ROSE, RONAN and ANA exit. CINDERELLA grabs hold of RICHARD.

CINDERELLA

You too darling.

RICHARD

Yes. My love.

CINDERELLA and RICHARD exit hand in hand.

CHRISTOPHER

Where have you been Rapunzel? 

RAPUNZEL

I was being punished, for loving you.

CHRISTOPHER

I am so sorry.

Pause.

RAPUNZEL

You're a father.

CHRISTOPHER

What?

RAPUNZEL

I gave birth to twins.

CHRISTOPHER

What?

RAPUNZEL

I was left to fend for myself. If I didn't meet Cinderella, and Snow White, I probably would have died. Rose I could've done without, but she makes me laugh.

CHRISTOPHER

Those two children. They're ours?

RAPUNZEL

Yes. Twins. The girl is Ana. The boy is Ronan.

CHRISTOPHER

I have a son. There's an heir to my throne. 

Pause.

RAPUNZEL

You're taking my kids away?

CHRISTOPHER

No, you're coming too.

RAPUNZEL

I don't want to leave. I like it here. I have friends. I have "my" kids. This is my home. 

CHRISTOPHER

But they're "my" kids too.

RAPUNZEL

You can't just show up out of nowhere and become a father. 

CHRISTOPHER

What makes you an expert on this?

RAPUNZEL

I'm their mother.

CHRISTOPHER

Did you just wake up and become a mother?

RAPUNZEL

Technically yes. I kind of have no way of getting out of it, and for the last five years I've been raising them. They're my kids. Not yours.

CINDERELLA and RICHARD are seen eavesdropping.

CHRISTOPHER

You know I didn't abandon you. 

RAPUNZEL

I didn't abandon you either. Things just happen.

CHRISTOPHER

I'm here now, and I'm not leaving without my kids.

CINDERELLA

I wouldn't have it any other way.

RAPUNZEL

CInderella?

CINDERELLA

Prince Christopher, you are welcome to stay here as long as you want as long as you go by my rules. 

CHRISTOPHER 

What?

RICHARD

Cool it there.

CHRISTOPHER

Okay

CINDERELLA

In my house, women are not second class citizens. We are equal to men.

CHRISTOPHER

Really?

CINDERELLA

So think twice before trying to force my friend here to go someplace she doesn't want to go.

RICHARD

Say "yes ma'am"

CHRISTOPHER

Yes ma'am

CINDERELLA

Good. Now follow me this way. We will show you to your quarters.

CHRISTOPHER (WHISPERING TO RICHARD)

You let her be in charge.

RICHARD 

All I do, is accept her, for her.

CINDERELLA, CHRISTOPHER and RICHARD exit. RAPUNZEL is left alone.

Scene - Rapunzel's Room.

ROSE and SNOW WHITE join RAPUNZEL in her room.

ROSE

I just want to make sure you're doing the right thing.

RAPUNZEL

I am. It's been a year now since he showed up and he is so good with the kids. He can marry me if he wants.

ROSE

Good. Good.

SNOW WHITE notices ROSE starting to tear up.

SNOW WHITE

Rose are you okay?

ROSE

I'm fine. I'm fine.

ROSE exits.

RAPUNZEL

I don't think she's fine.

SNOW WHITE

Who cares. Look, as long as this is what you want to do, you have my support.

RAPUNZEL

Oh goody. 

RAPUNZEL and SNOW WHITE hug.

SNOW WHITE

How does Cinderella feel about you moving out?

RAPUNZEL

You know her. She doesn't want to see any of us leave.

Scene - The Throne 

CINDERELLA is alone with tears in her eyes, sitting on her throne. ROSE enters, tears in her eyes still, 

ROSE

Cinderella? 

ROSE approaches CINDERELLA.

ROSE

Are you okay?

CINDERELLA

Oh Rose. Yes. Why?

ROSE

You've been crying.

CINDERELLA

Well your eyes aren't dry either.

ROSE

I guess I'm going to miss... Rapunzel. Oh I'm going to miss Rapunzel.

CINDERELLA

Me too. She was like a sister. We all became sisters didn't we? And I'm going to miss having kids around. Too many changes.

ROSE

Why don't you have kids?

CINDERELLA

What?

ROSE

You're married. You're financially set. Why not?

CINDERELLA

To be honest, childbirth grosses me out.

ROSE

What?

CINDERELLA

After seeing my stepmother give birth and more recently Rapunzel, I think I'm set.

ROSE

Childbirth is a beautiful thing.

CINDERELLA

Do you remember what we saw?

ROSE

Not really, I think I blocked it out.

CINDERELLA

See?

ROSE

There's always adoption.

CINDERELLA

True, very true. 

SNOW WHITE and RAPUNZEL enter.

SNOW WHITE

There they are.

RAPUNZEL

Hi ladies.

CINDERELLA and the girls huddle and hold hands.

CINDERELLA

Oh good, we're all together one last time. Friends forever, sisters for life, until the very end of...

ROSE

I can't do this.

ROSE breaks free of the huddle.

ROSE

I'm sorry I can't.

RAPUNZEL

Rose what's wrong?

ROSE

Oh Rapunzel, I did something so terrible.

RAPUNZEL

What? What did you do?

ROSE

I... kissed your prince.

RAPUNZEL

What?

CINDERELLA

Oh Rose.

SNOW WHITE

You airhead, why would you do that?

ROSE

It was a mistake. I'm sorry.

RAPUNZEL

Why did you... do you even love him.

ROSE

I think I do.

RAPUNZEL

Oh heavens.

ROSE

I'm sorry I did it, but I couldn't keep it a secret. 

RAPUNZEL

I hate you.

CINDERELLA

Wait, Rapunzel...

RAPUNZEL

Are you taking her side?

CINDERELLA

I'm not taking anyone's side. Have you heard his side? 

RAPUNZEL

Of course not. This is the first time I'm hearing this.

CINDERELLA

Do you realize that if Rose never told you this, you might not have ever known. He's the one lying to you, not her. Sure she did such a heinous act, but look at her.

SNOW WHITE

Yeah, she's too flakey to even know what she did.

ROSE

I know what I did. It was bad, and I am so sorry.

RAPUNZEL

I can't deal with this. Goodbye girls.

CINDERELLA

Wait, are we going to see you again.

RAPUNZEL 

I don't know. I don't know.

RAPUNZEL Exits.

ROSE

Ladies I am so sorry.

Scene - The Forest

Exterior. Afternoon. CINDERELLA, SNOW WHITE and ROSE are having a picnic. There is an uncomfortable silence. RAPUNZEL enters after awhile.

ROSE

Rapunzel, how are you?

RAPUNZEL

I'm fine.

CINDERELLA

Are things okay now?

RAPUNZEL

Yes.

SNOW WHITE

The kids?

RAPUNZEL

They're going to live in the castle with Christopher, and I'm going to visit, a whole lot.

CINDERELLA

So am I.

SNOW WHITE 

Me too.

RAPUNZEL

Thanks ladies.

ROSE

Can I come?

RAPUNZEL

No. I'm mad at you. But I won't be mad forever.

CINDERELLA

Come on Rose. Give it a month, she'll get over it.

ROSE

How are you so sure?

CINDERELLA

My stepsisters live with me now. Forgiveness takes time.

ROSE

That is hope. 

SNOW WHITE

My stepmother doesn't hate me anymore.

ROSE

It's because you're not pretty anymore.

The girls share a laugh.

RAPUNZEL

It takes time okay?

ROSE

Okay.

RAPUNZEL takes ROSE's hands. They smile.

END