31 Plays in 31 Days - Day 13 - Misfit Toys

          MISFIT TOYS

          SCENE - THE ATTIC

          A dusty attic. Boxes are everywhere. ALEX enters with MOM
          behind him. He is looking for something

                              ALEX
                    I just don't understand why you put
                    them here.

                              MOM
                    I don't understand. Why do you
                    still have toys in your room?
                    You're 30. And you live with your
                    parents.

          ALEX is looking around the attic.

                              ALEX
                    Please let's not do this again.

                              MOM
                    You know you can stay here as long
                    as you want.

                              ALEX
                    Please don't say that again. Where
                    are they?

                              MOM
                    I don't know. I put them in a box
                    and the box is in here. Now if you
                    don't mind, I'm going to get dinner
                    ready. We're having spaghetti.

                              ALEX
                    I like spaghetti.

                              MOM
                    I know dear.

          MOM exits.

                              ALEX (CALLING OUT TO THE BOXES AS HE
                              SORTS THROUGH THEM)
                    Guys, where are you? Hello.

                              PERRY (V.O)
                    Alex, we're over here.

                              ALEX
                    Where?

                              PERRY (V.O)
                    Over here Alex.

          ALEX opens up a box and looks through it.

                              ALEX
                    These are books. Oooh nice books
                    too. (reading the spine of one of
                    the books) The Philosophy of
                    Legally Blonde. Good book.

                              DARLIE (V.O)
                    Alex, we're over here. Help us
                    please.

          ALEX puts the box side and goes for another box.

                              ALEX
                    Okay. Let's see.

          ALEX opens up a new box and is happy.

                              ALEX
                    There you guys are. I'm sorry guys.

          ALEX takes out a stuffed panda. PERRY.

                              PERRY
                    Wow, it's musty in there.

          ALEX places PERRY on the ground. He then takes out a rag
          doll. RAGGEDY SANDY. He places RAGGEDY SANDY next to PERRY.

                              RAGGEDY SANDY
                    What are you trying to say?

                              PERRY
                    Nothing personal, it's just not the
                    most comfortable thing to be in a
                    cardboard box, and with you all
                    crammed in my ear.

                              RAGGEDY SANDY
                    Well excuse me.

          ALEX places a fashion doll on the ground. DARLIE.

                              DARLIE
                    Can you two stop arguing? You're
                    getting in my ear now.

                              JENSEN
                    They can't help it. They're in
                    love.

          ALEX places a super hero action figure on the ground.
          JENSEN.

                              SANDY/PERRY
                    We are not.

                              JENSEN
                    See that? That's unresolved sexual
                    tension. Resolve it you annoying
                    love twits.

                              ALEX
                    Can you guys shut up please.
                    There's somethings still missing.
                    Oh at least you guys here.

          ALEX takes out a show box of MINI FIGURES. He places the box
          on the ground.

                              MINI FIGURES
                    Hi Alex.

                              JENSEN
                    Oh no. Not them

                              MINI FIGURES
                    Look we're out of the box. But
                    we're still in this box. YAY!!!!!!!

                              JENSEN
                    Please shut them up.

                              MINI FIGURES
                    Look. A man. But he's also a boy.
                    YAY!!!!!

                              ALEX
                    Okay guys, shut up please.

                              MINI FIGURES
                    Some of us are girls. YAY!!

                              ALEX
                    Shut up okay please!

                              PERRY
                    Alex I'm so glad you found us. I
                    can't spend another moment crammed
                    with these things. Especially her.

                              RAGGEDY SANDY (OFFENDED)
                    Hey!!

                              JENSEN
                    See? They're in love. They're just
                    being stupid.

                              ALEX
                    Looks like you're all here. Let's
                    get going.

          ALEX picks up PERRY

                              PERRY
                    Alex, Alex wait.

                              ALEX
                    Yeah?

                              PERRY
                    I don't think we mind it up here.

                              ALEX
                    What?

                              RAGGEDY SANDY
                    What? Oh yeah. Oh yes. We don't
                    mind it up here.

                              PERRY
                    We just don't want to be in a box.
                    Now if I had my own box...

                              RAGGEDY SANDY
                    Well if he gets his own box, I want
                    my own box too.

                              PERRY
                    Oh yeah?

                              RAGGEDY SANDY
                    Yeah!

                              PERRY
                    Oh yeah?

                              RAGGEDY SANDY
                    Yeah!

                              PERRY
                    Oh yeah?

                              JENSEN
                    Shut up you noobs.

                              DARLIE
                    If I'm going to be left up here, I
                    want a dream house. I will not be
                    left in a box. I want to be in a
                    dream house.

                              MINI FIGURES
                    We don't care. YAY!!!

                              ALEX
                    Okay, whatever, but why do you all
                    want to stay up here?

                              PERRY
                    We care about you.

                              RAGGEDY SANDY
                    You know that right?

                              ALEX
                    You guys sound like my mother.

                              MINI FIGURES
                    Some of us are girls.. ya...

                              ALEX
                    Shut up, please.

                              JENSEN
                    Alex, we think it's time you put us
                    away.

                              ALEX
                    What? Why?

                              RAGGEDY SANDY
                    Because it's weird. A grown man
                    with all these toys.

                              DARLIE
                    I liked it. I liked getting clothes
                    and shoes bought for me. Now it's
                    all over. But I still want a dream
                    house.

                              ALEX
                    Yeah. That actually sounds cute.
                    But why all of a sudden?

                              PERRY
                    It wasn't all of a sudden. We've
                    been debating this for years.

                              ALEX
                    Years? How long is years?

                              RAGGEDY SANDY
                    He's exaggerating. It was one year.
                    Last year to be exact.

                              ALEX
                    That's when I moved back in.

                              JENSEN
                    Yes. You were broken hearted. That
                    was when you started hearing us
                    again.

                              ALEX
                    I was hurt.

                              PERRY
                    You needed time until it was time
                    to move on. Everyone needs time.

                              MINI FIGURES
                    Even we do. We loved having you
                    back, but everything must move on
                    someday.

                              ALEX
                    I'm not ready.

                              PERRY
                    And you might not be ready anytime
                    soon, but you have to make the
                    first step.

                              RAGGEDY SANDY
                    Let go of childhood things.

                              JENSEN
                    But not of your own youthful
                    energy.

                              MINI FIGURES
                    Because that's important.

          ALEX pauses. Thinks. Looks at his toys.

                              ALEX
                    I'm going to buy Darlie that
                    dreamhouse.

                              DARLIE
                    Nice. Thank you.

                              MINI FIGURES
                    And more boxes. Yay!!!!!

          ALEX exits. The toys don't talk.

                                                              END