31 Plays in 31 Days - Day 5 - I Wanna Be Loved By You

                                   I WANNA BE LOVED BY YOU

                                   SCENE 1

                    A bare vaudeville stage. A man in a dapper suit
                    comes on and takes center stage. He is outrageous.

          DAN
               Ladies and gentlemen. You know her from stage and
               screen. From media coverage. She brought world famous
               animator Max Fleishcer to courts for peets sake for
               borrowing her look and vocal styling. She sued Betty
               Boop. Please give a huge round of applause to the
               original boop oop ee doop girl... Helen Kane!

                    DAN exits as HELEN takes center stage and performs
                    "You'd Be Surprised." At the end of the song,
                    audience members approach the stage with autograph
                    books and pens.

          FAN 1
               Miss Kane, please sign my book.

          HELEN
               Of course.

          FAN 1
               She sounds just like Betty doesn't she?

          FAN 2
               I like Betty better.

          FAN 1
               You would oogle a cartoon girl.

          FAN 2 (TO HELEN)
               Are you the real Betty Boop?

          HELEN (IN GOOD HUMOR)
               No, but I'm the real Helen Kane.

                    DAN enters and shoos the FANS away.

          DAN
               Thank you everyone, but Miss Kane has to go now. She
               has other engagements.

                    FANS exit.

          HELEN
               Bye everyone. Thank you so much for coming. (to DAN) I
               have other engagements Dan?

          DAN
               It makes you look less available to the fans. Then they
               want to come back for more shows because they think you
               have prior commitments. It's like playing hard to get.

                    DAN and HELEN start cleaning up the stage and
                    theater space throughout their dialogue.

          HELEN
               The ones that are hard to get are supposed to play hard
               to get. I'm lucky if I have a meal ticket the next day.

          DAN
               I'm trying my best Helen, but ever since that Betty
               Boop dame came out, it's been hard to sell ya.

          HELEN
               I know, that's why I took those animators to court, and
               I lost. How can I lose, to a parody of myself? I'm so
               tired of playing second banana to a cartoon character.
               Betty Boop, is a satire, of me... how can no one see
               that?

          DAN
               Because she's bigger than life Helen.

          HELEN
               And she's my competition. I used to sell out at big
               concerts. I used to be in pictures. I was somebody. Now
               I'm Betty Boop's second fiddle.

                    The place is cleaner than before now.

          DAN
               I'm going out for a drink, you want to join me?

          HELEN
               I could use one, but it's okay. I have some numbers to
               practice for tomorrow night's show. Better do it now
               while I'm restless.

          DAN
               Okay, lock up when you're done okay.

                    DAN throws the keys to HELEN which she catches.

          HELEN (HOLDING UP THE KEYS. SARCASTIC)
               The life of a true star.

                    HELEN starts to wander the stage. She stands on
                    the far stage right and looks out into the lights.

          HELEN
               Betty Boop's second fiddle.

                    BETTY BOOP appears center stage all of a sudden in
                    all her black and white 2D animated glory.

          BETTY
               Hello Helen.

          HELEN
               You.

          BETTY
               No, you.

          HELEN
               You're me.

          BETTY
               That's not what the public thinks. Boop oop ee doop.

          HELEN
               Don't you dare say that.

          BETTY
               I always say that.

          HELEN
               I have nothing against you personally. You're a cartoon
               character and I want my career back.

          BETTY
               I didn't take your career. Times are moving forward and
               you're falling behind. Boop oop ee doop.

          HELEN
               Stop it. Don't say that. I made that.

          BETTY
               According the courts, I'm the one that made it famouse.

          HELEN
               I made it famous first.

          BETTY
               First worst, second best. I'm everywhere Helen. You
               can't get rid of me.

          HELEN
               You're right. Why do you get the fame? Why do you steal
               my fame? You're just a drawing.

          BETTY
               You're wrong. I'm the dream of thousands. I bring
               happiness.

          HELEN
               Without me, there'd be no you.

          BETTY
               But there will always be a Betty.

                    BETTY BOOP slowly fades.

          HELEN
               What will happen to me?

                                                      LIGHTS OUT


                                   SCENE 2

                    Same stage as before. DAN is getting ready on the
                    side to announce HELEN, but HELEN stops him.

          HELEN
               Dan, wait.

          DAN
               What?

          HELEN
               I just want to say thank you.

          DAN
               Okay. You're welcome.

                    HELEN exits to get ready. DAN approaches center
                    stage.

          DAN (TO AUDIENCE)
               Ladies and gentlement, if you loved Betty Boop, you
               will love this singer just as much, if not more.
               Without her, there would be no Boop oop ee doop. Let's
               give a round of applause to the one and only Helen
               Kane.

                    HELEN enters and performs "I Owe You." After her
                    song, fans get onstage with autograph books and
                    pens.

          FAN 3
               You were wonderful Miss Kane.

          HELEN
               Thank you so much.

          FAN 5 (TO FAN 6)
               She really does sound like her.

          FAN 6
               It's amazing.

          HELEN
               Thank you.

          FAN 4
               Are you really Betty Boop?

          HELEN
               No, but I find she and I have much in common.

                    HELEN faces the audience and starts to perform "I
                    Wanna Be Loved By You." DAN and THE FANS join her
                    and it ends with HELEN and BETTY having a dual at
                    the end of the song with their Boop Oop Eee Doops.
                    The dual ends with applause as both BETTY and
                    HELEN take a bow.

                                                             END