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Saturday, August 31, 2013

31 Plays in 31 Days - Day 31 - The Goodhearts

THE GOODHEARTS
Scene - Living Space
Interior. Afternoon. A living room that has a dinning room that flows right into it. ROBERT is on the living room couch with a bowl of spaghetti watching TV. HEATHER enters ready to set the dinning room table and sees ROBERT.
HEATHER
Robert, what did I tell you about eating in the living room?
ROBERT
Heather please. I just got back from work and I just want to enjoy my spaghetti.
Audience laugh track is heard. HEATHER gives him a dirty look.
ROBERT
The spaghetti you've so carefully prepared my dear.
Audience laugh track is heard. HEATHER turns back around to prepare setting the table. Unknown to her, as soon she turns around, ROBERT has spilled the entirety of his spaghetti on the couch by accident due to a startling moment on his TV show. He goes to try to find solutions to hide the huge stain.
HEATHER
I just hate when you don't listen to me. I don't say these things to hear myself ya' know. I just say them because I'm a stay at home and I know this house front to back and I hate food stains in the living room. I have carefully set up our dining room so you can eat there. I've even positioned the TV so you can see it from where you eat in the dining room, if you ate at the dining room, and still, you eat in the living room.
The laughter has increased as ROBERT has found a white blanket to throw over the white couch and hides the stain completely. HEATHER turns around to face ROBERT.
ROBERT
I understand.
Audience laugh track is heard.
HEATHER
Did you finish all that spaghetti?
ROBERT
Yes ma'am it was good.
Audience laugh track is heard.
HEATHER
Thanks. Don't eat in here. 
HEATHER exits. BOBBY enters.
ROBERT
Son, do me a favor.
BOBBY
Yeah.
ROBERT
I'm going to take your mother out for dinner. While we're out, you have to clean this. Please.
ROBERT shows BOBBY the stain on the couch.
BOBBY
Oh mom's gonna kill you.
Audience laugh track is heard.
ROBERT
Not if my son helps me. My son who will also get a 20 dollar advance in his allowance if he helps me.
HEATHER enters.
HEATHER
What do you guys want for dinner.
BOBBY
You should go out, you go out, guys... go out.
Audience laugh track is heard.
HEATHER
What?
ROBERT
I was just telling Bobby boy here that, he notices that you work so hard all day and never get a single thank you.
HEATHER
He did?
BOBBY
I did?
ROBERT
You did. (audience laugh track is heard) So, I'm going to say thank you by taking you out for dinner.
HEATHER
Oh Robert.
BOBBY
Cool, we're going to Mickey's?
Audience laugh track is heard.
HEATHER
The fast food restaraunt?
ROBERT
We're not going to Mickey's, and you're not going, remember? Advanced notice?
BOBBY
What? Oh?
Audience laugh track is heard.
ROBERT
Oh!!! Yes!
HEATHER
What?
ROBERT
Nevermind dear, he's sick. Get your purse.
HEATHER
We're going now? Shouldn't we call a babysitter?
ROBERT
Oh the kids are teenagers, they'll be fine.
HEATHER
No parties!
ROBERT and HEATHER exit. The audience track roars with laughter. BOBBY looks at the stain and starts to roll his sleeves up. SARAH enters.
SARAH
What did you do?
BOBBY
Dad spilled spaghetti on mom's white couch.
SARAH
It looks like crime scene.
BOBBY
Yeah, don't it?
Audience laugh track is heard. SARAH flinches.
SARAH
Mom and dad aren't home then?
BOBBY
No he took her out so I can hide the evidence.
Audience laugh track is heard. SARAH flinches again and takes out a gun. She aims it at BOBBY. Lights out.
SARAH
Oh, okay.
Lights back on. BOBBY is tied up and  unconscious on the couch near the spaghetti stain on the couch. ROBERT and HEATHER enter. 
ROBERT
Bobby? Sarah?
HEATHER
Kids? Oh my GOD!!!!
HEATHER sees BOBBY tied up on the couch. SARAH enters aiming the gun at HEATHER and ROBERT.
SARAH
Sit on the couch.
ROBERT
Sarah, where did you get a gun?
SARAH
Just shut up and sit down.
HEATHER and ROBERT sit on the couch with BOBBY.
HEATHER
Honey, is something wrong?
Audience laugh track is heard. SARAH closes her eyes as the laughter fades.
SARAH
I feel trapped in this sitcom world.
Audience laugh track is heard.
SARAH
This is not funny.
HEATHER
Sarah, baby we love you. What are you doing?
SARAH
I'm a real teenage girl with real problems. No one at school likes me. I want to die. I'm bullied. I hate everyone.
Audience laugh track is heard. SARAH covers her ears.
SARAH
Shut up, just shut up. Just shut up.
ROBERT
Sarah, put the gun down.
HEATHER
Honey we love you. Please stop.
BOBBY wakes up.
BOBBY
What's going on?
SARAH is startled.
SARAH
What?
BOBBY
What's wrong Sarah?
Audience laughter is heard.
SARAH
I can't stand it here.
SARAH runs offstage with the gun. HEATHER looks on at her daughter.
HEATHER
Sarah NO!!!! Please....
A gunshot is heard.
ROBERT
Oh God.
BOBBY
Sarah? Sarah?
Lights off. Lights back on. A new couch is in the living room. ROBERT is in the dinning room on the table eating spaghetti. HEATHER enters, looks at ROBERT, and smiles.
HEATHER
Look who's eating at the dinning room table.
ROBERT
I learned my lesson honey. No eating in the living room.
HEATHER
It's a shame Sarah had to leave for awhile.
ROBERT
Yeah, but at least it means your niece can stay in her room during her stay.
HEATHER
Oh yes. She should be here any minute. Bobby, get over here. Cousin Olivia is coming.
BOBBY
Yay. Cousin Olivia.
Audience laughter is heard.
END


Friday, August 30, 2013

31 Plays in 31 Days - Day 30 - Fanning the Flames

FANNING THE FIRE
Scene - Backstage
Offstage, a ruckus of angry fans is heard. JERRY and CARUE enter, out of breath. After a moment:
JERRY
Was that really necessary?
CARUE
Yes.
JERRY
A lot of jobs are on the line you know?
CARUE
I don't care. I can't play this role anymore.
JERRY
I don't like it, but it's a fact: boybands don't sell well that have openly gay members.
CARUE
You think I give a shit?
JERRY
You better give a shit. We sell pop music.
CARUE
Maybe pop music has to change.
JERRY
You really think our music is going to change the world?
CARUE
We could change the world. 
JERRY
I love you. Because you believe the world should be a better place than it is. I'm realistic though.
JERRY exits. CARUE is left behind. He hears JERRY's announcement.
JERRY (OFFSTAGE)
I'm sorry to announce that Carue has decided to leave In Fire. But we promise you that we will keep making good music for as long as you will allow us too.
CARUE exits as the ruckus gets more loud and angry and sad.
Scene - Carue's Appartment
Interior. Morning. JONZE Is in a suit and finishing up his coffee. 
JONZE 
Carue?
CARUE enters.
CARUE
Yes Jonze?
JONZE
I'm off to work soon. Do you need a ride to your audition?
CARUE
No. I think I'll walk.
JONZE
Are you sure?
CARUE
Yeah. The walk back will help calm my nerves when they tell me I didn't get it.
JONZE
Don't be so negative. You're awesome. I knew that the moment I saw your first music video with In Fire.
CARUE
Oh, I miss those boys.
JONZE
Everyone does. 
JONZE kisses CARUE.
JONZE
It was years ago. Don't think too hard about it. I'll see you after work okay.
CARUE
Okay. 
JONZE hugs CARUE and exits out the door. CARUE stands at the edge of the door.
CARUE
Jonze. I love you.
JONZE (OFFSTAGE)
I love you too.
CARUE looks on and smiles for a moment. CARUE closes the door. CARUE starts to clean up and starts to vocally warm up. A knock is heard on the door. CARUE opens the door expecting JONZE.
CARUE
Did you forget something?
But instead....
JERRY
Hi. 
CARUE
Jerry? What are you...
JERRY
I was in town, promoting my new album.
CARUE
You shouldn't walk the streets alone. Where's your body guards?
JERRY
They're in the limo. I'll be fine here. Right?
CARUE
Yeah of course.
CARUE invites JERRY in. An awkward moment until...
CARUE
How are things...
JERRY
I'm sorry.
Pause.
CARUE
It might be a little too late for that.
JERRY
I haven't forgotten about you. Everyday since I left you, I have always thought about you. Every song I sing on my record, is for you.
CARUE
I don't care.
JERRY
I'm sorry for what happened, and I wish I could say: I wish I didn't leave you, - but I'm not. But I do miss you, and I will always love you.
Pause.
CARUE
Please go. I can't...
Pause. Hesitation.
JERRY
Okay. 
JERRY exits out the door. CARUE stands at the door, watching JERRY leave. A limo is heard leaving. CARUE watches on.
END



Thursday, August 29, 2013

31 Plays in 31 Days - Day 29 - After Ever After

AFTER EVER AFTER
Scene - The Forest
SNOW WHITE wanders alone in the forest, tattered and out of breath, when a carriage passes her by. CINDERELLA is in it.
CINDERELLA
Hi sweetie, do you need a ride?
SNOW WHITE
Yes. Please.
CINDERELLA
Come on in.
SNOW WHITE enters the carriage. 
SNOW WHITE
Thank you so much.
CINDERELLA
You look like you've been through a lot. What's your story?
SNOW WHITE
You wouldn't understand.
CINDERELLA
Really? And how could you possibly know that?
SNOW WHITE
Did you have a stepmother who tried to kill you?
CINDERELLA
Kinda?
SNOW WHITE
Really?
CINDERELLA
Yeah.
SNOW WHITE
Oh wow. I'm sorry.
CINDERELLA
Oh I'm fine. I got out of there. Now I help my husband rule a whole kingdom.
SNOW WHITE
Wow.
CINDERELLA
See, we have more in common with each other than you think. Everyone has a story. Where do you want my carriage to take you?
SNOW WHITE
I really don't know. When my stepmother tried to kill me, I went to live with some dwarfs. She then found me and put a sleeping spell on me.
CINDERELLA
Oh no.
SNOW WHITE
What?
CINDERELLA
Sleeping spells are the number one cause for divorce.
SNOW WHITE 
You don't say.
CINDERELLA
I do say.
SNOW WHITE
Well that's what happened. A prince kissed me, we got married, and now we are divorced. I'm going back to live with my friends.
CINDERELLA
That's nice. Where are these friends?
SNOW WHITE
I don't know. The woods aren't exactly organized properly.
CINDERELLA
That is true. You could get lost out there. (looks out the window and sees ROSE) She looks lost.
SNOW WHITE
Who?
The carriage stops. SNOW WHITE and CINDERELLA go towards ROSE who is picking flowers.
SNOW WHITE
Hey, are you okay?
ROSE
Oh I'm fine. I'm just picking flowers for my bouquet. I'm getting married.
CINDERELLA
Oh that's nice. Who is he?
ROSE
Some guy.
CINDERELLA
That's fine and all sweetie, but where's the church.
ROSE
I don't know. It might be down that way.
SNOW WHITE (WHISPERING TO CINDERELLA)
Do you see anything down that way?
CINDERELLA (WHISPERING TO SNOW WHITE)
Just air.
SNOW WHITE (WHISPERING TO CINDERELLA)
The same stuff that's probably in her head.
CINDERELLA (TO ROSE)
Sweetie, do you need us to give you a ride to the church.
ROSE
Oh no. My prince will come.
SNOW WHITE (TO CINDERELLA)
She's clearly crazy.
ROSE
It's been real nice meeting you ladies.
ROSE gets up with her bouquet.
SNOW WHITE
Where are you going?
ROSE
Off into the forest. I have more flowers to pick.
ROSE exits into the forest.
SNOW WHITE
Should we leave her?
CINDERELLA
Of course not. She could get hurt.
SNOW WHITE
She's not listening to us though.
CINDERELLA
I know, but I'm reminded of one of my stepsisters. She was younger than me and I always felt a need to protect her no matter how dopey she was.
ROSE screams.
SNOW WHITE
Oh no.
SNOW WHITE runs into the forest towards ROSE. She finds ROSE in shock and in horror as RAPUNZEL lies on the ground, ready to give birth.
SNOW WHITE
What's wrong.
ROSE
There's something coming out of her.
CINDERELLA arrives on the scene.
SNOW WHITE 
Oh my God. Cinderella she's giving birth.
CINDERELLA
Okay, we can do this. I helped my stepmother give birth to my sisters. 
CINDERELLA goes down to help RAPUNZEL.
CINDERELLA
What's your name?
RAPUNZEL
Rapunzel.
CINDERELLA
Rapunzel we're going to help you.
ROSE
Is she dying?
SNOW WHITE
Yes. This is how my mother died.
CINDERELLA
No ladies. Childbirth is not a death sentence. You're going to be all right. Now push.
ROSE
Oh I can't watch.
RAPUNZEL screams.
Scene - Cinderella's Castle
Interior. A hallway. ANA and RONAN enter.
ANA
Mama? Mama?
RONAN
The castle is so huge. 
ANA
We're not supposed to wander alone. We'll get lost.
RONAN
We can't find anyone. 
RAPUNZEL enters.
RAPUNZEL
Children?
ANA
Mama?
RONAN
I told her not to wander.
ANA
Liar.
RAPUNZEL
Kids, kids. Please. Let's behave. I think your aunts are waiting for us in the dinning hall for lunch.
RONAN
Yay, lunch.
RAPUNZEL leads her children to the dining hall. CINDERELLA, SNOW WHITE and ROSE await her. 
CINDERELLA
Hello Rapunzel.
SNOW WHITE
Yeah finally.
ROSE
Don't listen to her Rapunzel. Snow is just mad at our rule to wait for everyone to be present at the table before we all eat.
SNOW WHITE
Why do we do that?
CINDERELLA
Because it keeps us all as a family. It always us time to eat, and spend time together. 
ANA
Can Snow White tell us a story?
RONAN
Yeah, tell us a story. She has cool stories.
ROSE
Can I tell you kids a story?
ANA
Yeah sure.
RONAN
Yeah.
RAPUNZEL
Rose, maybe you shouldn't.
SNOW WHITE
No let her. Let her.
ROSE
Once upon a time there was a princess.
ANA
Yeah.
ROSE 
And she fell asleep.
RONAN
Yeah?
ROSE
And then a prince kissed her waking her up.
ANA
Yeah?
ROSE
And that's pretty much it.
ANA
Oh.
CINDERELLA
Rose here is still writing her story. And aren't we all just starting to write our own stories. Remember, everyday, is a new beginning. 
RICHARD enters.
RICHARD
Cinderella.
CINDERELLA
Yes my husband.
RICHARD
There's a young man here to see Rapunzel.
RAPUNZEL
To see me?
RICHARD
Yes miss.
CINDERELLA
Send him in please.
RICHARD
Yes my love.
RICHARD exits and re-enters with CHRISTOPHER. He has a blindfold on... because he's blind.
CHRISTOPHER
Is Rapunzel here?
RAPUNZEL
It's my prince.
CHRISTOPHER
Rapunzel I hear you, but I can't see. You're mother blinded me.
RAPUNZEL
She wasn't my mother. She was a witch.
ROSE
Was she a good witch or a bad witch.
SNOW WHITE
Shut up Rose.
CINDERELLA 
Children, ladies, let's give Rapunzel and her friend some privacy. 
SNOW WHITE, ROSE, RONAN and ANA exit. CINDERELLA grabs hold of RICHARD.
CINDERELLA
You too darling.
RICHARD
Yes. My love.
CINDERELLA and RICHARD exit hand in hand.
CHRISTOPHER
Where have you been Rapunzel? 
RAPUNZEL
I was being punished, for loving you.
CHRISTOPHER
I am so sorry.
Pause.
RAPUNZEL
You're a father.
CHRISTOPHER
What?
RAPUNZEL
I gave birth to twins.
CHRISTOPHER
What?
RAPUNZEL
I was left to fend for myself. If I didn't meet Cinderella, and Snow White, I probably would have died. Rose I could've done without, but she makes me laugh.
CHRISTOPHER
Those two children. They're ours?
RAPUNZEL
Yes. Twins. The girl is Ana. The boy is Ronan.
CHRISTOPHER
I have a son. There's an heir to my throne. 
Pause.
RAPUNZEL
You're taking my kids away?
CHRISTOPHER
No, you're coming too.
RAPUNZEL
I don't want to leave. I like it here. I have friends. I have "my" kids. This is my home. 
CHRISTOPHER
But they're "my" kids too.
RAPUNZEL
You can't just show up out of nowhere and become a father. 
CHRISTOPHER
What makes you an expert on this?
RAPUNZEL
I'm their mother.
CHRISTOPHER
Did you just wake up and become a mother?
RAPUNZEL
Technically yes. I kind of have no way of getting out of it, and for the last five years I've been raising them. They're my kids. Not yours.
CINDERELLA and RICHARD are seen eavesdropping.
CHRISTOPHER
You know I didn't abandon you. 
RAPUNZEL
I didn't abandon you either. Things just happen.
CHRISTOPHER
I'm here now, and I'm not leaving without my kids.
CINDERELLA
I wouldn't have it any other way.
RAPUNZEL
CInderella?
CINDERELLA
Prince Christopher, you are welcome to stay here as long as you want as long as you go by my rules. 
CHRISTOPHER 
What?
RICHARD
Cool it there.
CHRISTOPHER
Okay
CINDERELLA
In my house, women are not second class citizens. We are equal to men.
CHRISTOPHER
Really?
CINDERELLA
So think twice before trying to force my friend here to go someplace she doesn't want to go.
RICHARD
Say "yes ma'am"
CHRISTOPHER
Yes ma'am
CINDERELLA
Good. Now follow me this way. We will show you to your quarters.
CHRISTOPHER (WHISPERING TO RICHARD)
You let her be in charge.
RICHARD 
All I do, is accept her, for her.
CINDERELLA, CHRISTOPHER and RICHARD exit. RAPUNZEL is left alone.
Scene - Rapunzel's Room.
ROSE and SNOW WHITE join RAPUNZEL in her room.
ROSE
I just want to make sure you're doing the right thing.
RAPUNZEL
I am. It's been a year now since he showed up and he is so good with the kids. He can marry me if he wants.
ROSE
Good. Good.
SNOW WHITE notices ROSE starting to tear up.
SNOW WHITE
Rose are you okay?
ROSE
I'm fine. I'm fine.
ROSE exits.
RAPUNZEL
I don't think she's fine.
SNOW WHITE
Who cares. Look, as long as this is what you want to do, you have my support.
RAPUNZEL
Oh goody. 
RAPUNZEL and SNOW WHITE hug.
SNOW WHITE
How does Cinderella feel about you moving out?
RAPUNZEL
You know her. She doesn't want to see any of us leave.
Scene - The Throne 
CINDERELLA is alone with tears in her eyes, sitting on her throne. ROSE enters, tears in her eyes still, 
ROSE
Cinderella? 
ROSE approaches CINDERELLA.
ROSE
Are you okay?
CINDERELLA
Oh Rose. Yes. Why?
ROSE
You've been crying.
CINDERELLA
Well your eyes aren't dry either.
ROSE
I guess I'm going to miss... Rapunzel. Oh I'm going to miss Rapunzel.
CINDERELLA
Me too. She was like a sister. We all became sisters didn't we? And I'm going to miss having kids around. Too many changes.
ROSE
Why don't you have kids?
CINDERELLA
What?
ROSE
You're married. You're financially set. Why not?
CINDERELLA
To be honest, childbirth grosses me out.
ROSE
What?
CINDERELLA
After seeing my stepmother give birth and more recently Rapunzel, I think I'm set.
ROSE
Childbirth is a beautiful thing.
CINDERELLA
Do you remember what we saw?
ROSE
Not really, I think I blocked it out.
CINDERELLA
See?
ROSE
There's always adoption.
CINDERELLA
True, very true. 
SNOW WHITE and RAPUNZEL enter.
SNOW WHITE
There they are.
RAPUNZEL
Hi ladies.
CINDERELLA and the girls huddle and hold hands.
CINDERELLA
Oh good, we're all together one last time. Friends forever, sisters for life, until the very end of...
ROSE
I can't do this.
ROSE breaks free of the huddle.
ROSE
I'm sorry I can't.
RAPUNZEL
Rose what's wrong?
ROSE
Oh Rapunzel, I did something so terrible.
RAPUNZEL
What? What did you do?
ROSE
I... kissed your prince.
RAPUNZEL
What?
CINDERELLA
Oh Rose.
SNOW WHITE
You airhead, why would you do that?
ROSE
It was a mistake. I'm sorry.
RAPUNZEL
Why did you... do you even love him.
ROSE
I think I do.
RAPUNZEL
Oh heavens.
ROSE
I'm sorry I did it, but I couldn't keep it a secret. 
RAPUNZEL
I hate you.
CINDERELLA
Wait, Rapunzel...
RAPUNZEL
Are you taking her side?
CINDERELLA
I'm not taking anyone's side. Have you heard his side? 
RAPUNZEL
Of course not. This is the first time I'm hearing this.
CINDERELLA
Do you realize that if Rose never told you this, you might not have ever known. He's the one lying to you, not her. Sure she did such a heinous act, but look at her.
SNOW WHITE
Yeah, she's too flakey to even know what she did.
ROSE
I know what I did. It was bad, and I am so sorry.
RAPUNZEL
I can't deal with this. Goodbye girls.
CINDERELLA
Wait, are we going to see you again.
RAPUNZEL 
I don't know. I don't know.
RAPUNZEL Exits.
ROSE
Ladies I am so sorry.
Scene - The Forest
Exterior. Afternoon. CINDERELLA, SNOW WHITE and ROSE are having a picnic. There is an uncomfortable silence. RAPUNZEL enters after awhile.
ROSE
Rapunzel, how are you?
RAPUNZEL
I'm fine.
CINDERELLA
Are things okay now?
RAPUNZEL
Yes.
SNOW WHITE
The kids?
RAPUNZEL
They're going to live in the castle with Christopher, and I'm going to visit, a whole lot.
CINDERELLA
So am I.
SNOW WHITE 
Me too.
RAPUNZEL
Thanks ladies.
ROSE
Can I come?
RAPUNZEL
No. I'm mad at you. But I won't be mad forever.
CINDERELLA
Come on Rose. Give it a month, she'll get over it.
ROSE
How are you so sure?
CINDERELLA
My stepsisters live with me now. Forgiveness takes time.
ROSE
That is hope. 
SNOW WHITE
My stepmother doesn't hate me anymore.
ROSE
It's because you're not pretty anymore.
The girls share a laugh.
RAPUNZEL
It takes time okay?
ROSE
Okay.
RAPUNZEL takes ROSE's hands. They smile.
END



Have Some Fun