DATE
WITH THE QUEEN BEE
SHEERA
enters from the back as PUDDING does LATOYA's hair and DRAKE works
the front desk.
SHEERA
Has anyone
seen Jennifer?
PUDDING
She hasn't
come in. I heard she didn't even come home.
DRAKE
How could
you possibly know that.
PUDDING
Because
Donnie told Flo and Flo told Britney and Britney told Harry and Harry
told LaToya...
LATOYA
Holla HAYY
PUDDING
...and
LaToya told me.
DRAKE
My brain
just exploded.
PUDDING
Mop it up
drama queen.
JENNIFER
enters. She doesn't look too good.
SHEERA
Oh look,
here she is.
PUDDING
Jennifer?
LATOYA
Are you
okay?
JENNIFER
Oh yeah.
I'm fine.
SHEERA
Could've
fooled me.
LATOYA
Girl are
you drunk?
JENNIFER
Oh yeah.
PUDDING
Was your
date with the queen bee a disaster?
JENNIFER
Of epic
proportions.
PUDDING
Oh
hells....
JENNIFER
She picked
me up, we went to the party, and it was High School all over again.
She had the same friends, the same attitude. The mean girls, they
were still mean girls, and it was sad.
SHEERA
I'm sorry
Jen. I know you wanted it work out.
JENNIFER
I don't
think I really did. I'm not the same person I was in High School. I'm
not that girl who worshipped the ground she walked on. I'm better
than that.
LATOYA
You sure
are. So who cares if the Queen Bee is still hot, sexy and in
control...
DRAKE
LaToya.
LATOYA
Girl, you
are better than that.
JENNIFER
Damn
straight. I think I'm gonna vomit.
JENNIFER
gags and runs to the bathroom outback.
SHEERA
You better
run I just changed the carpet!!!
DRAKE
She looked
a mess.
LATOYA
She was a
mess.
PUDDING
I'm hungry
who wants some mexican.
CLAIRE
enters.
CLAIRE
Hi ladies.
And Pudding.
PUDDING/DRAKE
Oh hells...
SHEERA
Can I help
you Claire.
CLAIRE
Is Jennifer
here. I was trying to see her at her place, but no one was home.
SHEERA
Yes, she's
out back getting pretty for today's work.
JENNIFER
(OFFSTAGE)
Oh my God.
I slipped and missed.
SHEERA
I'll be
right back.
SHEERA
goes outback. CLAIRE has an awkward silent moment with PUDDING, DRAKE
and LATOYA. JENNIFER enters with a bruise on her head, and wet from
water.
JENNIFER
Hello
Claire.
CLAIRE
Oh my God
Jennifer.
JENNIFER
What?
CLAIRE
You look
horrible.
JENNIFER
Nice. Is
that residual teasing from last night's event with your coven of
bitches?
CLAIRE
Look, I
can't control what my friends do?
JENNIFER
Why would
you want to be around people who treat others like that?
CLAIRE
Jennifer
they're my friends, you know that.
JENNIFER
If that's
who you want to be associated with, why the hell would I want to be
around you?
CLAIRE
Because you
like me.
JENNIFER
I did like
you, but that was when I was a teenager. I'm a grown woman now. I
wish I could say the same for you.
CLAIRE
I came here
to apologize to you. I don't want to anymore.
JENNIFER
Oh please.
Allow me to apologize. I'm sorry I ever liked a shallow bitch like
you.
SHEERA
gets in the middle of CLAIRE and JENNIFER.
SHEERA
Whoa
ladies, none of that.
CLAIRE
exits. JENNIFER goes outback. Pause. And then:
LATOYA
That was
some L Word bullshit.
Lights
out. Lights back on. SHEERA and JENNIFER are cleaning up.
SHEERA
Can I
expect you to come in on time tomorrow?
JENNIFER
Yes I'm
sorry. You know I'm the owner of this salon right?
SHEERA
You own it,
I run it.
JENNIFER
We're a
good team aren't we?
SHEERA
You feeling
better about that whole Claire situation.
JENNIFER
Yeah. I
guess I was just trying to relive a high school fantasy. You can't
always go back though, can you?
SHEERA
No. But
sure is fun.
They
laugh.
SHEERA
Come on
girl. LaToya just text me. She said everyone's at Marla's.
JENNIFER
Good. I
could use a drink. With friends. Real friends.
They
exit.
END
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